September 21, 2016 Leave a comment
Peace starts with the heart. The heart of any problem is very often a problem of the heart.
Your heart will shape and determine outcomes of a conflict. Desires of your heart will also influence strength of your relationships.
If your heart is not in the right place in bridging and bonding with others, there will never be an amicable relationship and peaceful resolution.
To have peace, there must be a desire for peace and being a peace-maker. Without such a commitment, there will be lesser peace in and around your life.
The challenge for most people is managing their ego. The ego is in essence an over-consciousness of your being and an unhealthy attachment to it.
It has a tendency to make you think and feel that you are bigger and better than who you really are and better than the others around you.
The ego needs to be fed but it will never be satisfied. In fact, if it is not effectively managed, it will become hungrier and will grow until it becomes bigger than you.
Gradually, an uncontrolled ego may devour you.
That’s why, it’s so important to have a proper perspective of people and the world around you.
If you hold on to an ethnocentric perspective and insist that you are always right, you can never resolve any challenge and build a closer relationship with others.
When you are willing to give up your need to be approved, to criticize, to control, and to insist that others must go your way, you can find peace within yourself and with others.
Breakthroughs in conflict resolution very often happen when you dare to say you have been wrong before and you can be wrong again. There are always better ways to achieve better results and you must be open to adopt them.
The better ways are sometimes brought up and directed by others.
Therefore, do not just expect others to understand us. Seek to understand them first. Stretch out your hands and build better bridges and stronger bondings with them.
As you look after their needs, they will also be more willing to look after your needs.
When you learn to be others-centric and not me-centric, you can build better friendships and communities.
The opposite is also true – when you seek to serve only your selfish interests, the other party will also ring-fence themselves and pursue their own interests. There will be more unhappiness, disappointment, and resentment.
In whatever situation you are in, don’t lose your cool. It will affect your reasoning and mindset.
Focus on principle not not on personality, the subject matter and not subject each other to any form of negativity.
As fellow members of the human race, don’t attack or seek to harm one other. Avoid taking things personally and calling each other names.
Attack the sin but not the sinner, after all none of us are perfect. Our views are evolving and can be changed instantly.
Therefore, be gracious to allow others to change and improve themselves and their position.
Do not partake in lies, half-truths, and misinformation. Seek to achieve outcomes that are positive, rational, and beneficial.
Start and continue every discussion and debate on the right path.
Be mindful about saying words or taking actions that will cause you to regret at a later stage. Remember, you may not even be able to correct them and set things right for the rest of your life.
During a conflict, if you throw mud at one another, both of you will become muddy.
Worst, if you spew poison in response to the other party’s poison, in the end, both of you will die of poison. Even if the other party stays neutral, you may eventually die emotionally from your own poison.
In the final analysis, even if you cannot prevent every conflict, you can have a more loving heart and a more magnanimous spirit.
At the same time, you can continue to learn, improve and become more effective in resolving conflicts and challenges.
Life is already too short for enjoying love, joy and peace. Why waste more time on unhealthy conflicts?
Why not pursue peace and help bring about a more peaceful world?
Let us do our part to unite people and bring forth more happiness and harmony to the people around us.
Together, let us step up – not shut down; love – not hate; forgive – not begrudge; heal – not harm; unite – not divide; progress – not regress; and be constructive – not destructive.
Let’s leave the world a better place than when we first step into it. If necessary, we can compromise short term personal gains for long term benefits for ourselves and for others too.
Peace is priceless. It begins with each and every one of us.
Let’s promote peace and be peace makers.
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
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