A Revolution Of Love (Part 4) – Loving Your Friends

A Revolution Of Love (Part 4) – Loving Your Friends

On 17 March 1990, my Papa passed away suddenly.

He had a heart attack after an enjoyable holiday.

He collapsed while queuing up to stamp his passport at the Singapore Customs. 

At that point, our family was in shock and deeply saddened. 

It took us a long time to recover from the grief.

Looking back, I feel it was a beautiful way to go. 

There was no prolonged illness, no medical bills, and no major financial burdens to his loved ones or anyone.

Papa left us with a smile on his face and an uplifted spirit from the vacation.

We placed a small advertisement in the obituary column – a routine act by almost every bereaved family.

It was hard to believe the response we got at the funeral wake.

The HDB void deck was literally packed with people.

Many rushed to the funeral to see Papa for the last time.

Some had tears in their eyes and came with a message from their hearts.

There was a man with a swarthy face, probably in the 60s, who came very close to me.

He held my hands and with glistening eyes, he shared these moving words with me;

“I’m a retired policeman. I’ve met your dad for only a short period of time.

“Somehow, he made a strong impression on me and brightened up my life.

“When I saw his photo in the newspaper, I told myself I have to come and see him off.”

There were many others who shared with me how they treasured Papa’s friendship and valued the time they spent with him.

They came from many corners of the country and different walks of life.

My Papa’s funeral awakened me to an important value.

One good way to measure success is the number of friends who will show up at my funeral – people who will be thankful for my life and who will miss me when I am gone.

I do not want to go through what Thomas Hardy called the ‘second death’ in his poem, ‘The To-Be-Forgotten.’

‘They bide as quite forgot;

They are as men who have existed not;

Theirs is a loss past loss of fitful breath;

It is the second death.’

I thought to myself, “It is tragic if I die, no one will remember me or worst, no one wants to remember me.”

Think about it.

You can take nothing away with you at the end of my life. 

However, you can leave behind something of value.

The highest value you can leave behind will be your love for people and your contributions to them and the environment they lived in.

If you live for this noble aspiration, you would have lived a good life.

As a real estate investor, I have always said that it’s more important to invest in “real relationship” estate.

I teach my students that they are not just in the property investment business but also in the people business.

Their focus should not just be about developing real estate but about developing relationships too.

Ultimately, they should aim to turn their clients into “freehold” friends – friends forever.

Therefore, seek to love and value-add to your friends throughout your lifetime.

As I look back on my life, if there is anything I can be proud of and happy about – it’s the fact that I have many friends.

They come from different walks of life and from many different parts of the world.

Many of my customers have also become my close friends.

From the young to the old, poor to the rich, not-educated to the educated… I can call on them.

We make time for each other and help each other on the journey of life.

Friendships do not come by accident, and they need to be planned and nurtured over time. 

There are essentially 7 key strategies to bond with people and build a positive relationship with them.

1. Exemplify

To love others, it starts with your mind.

The seeds of love that you sow in your mind will help you reap the fruits of love in your life. 

The external acts of love is a reflection of the love in your inner being.

Therefore, before you start to look for friends, ask yourself, “How can I be the best of friends to attract them?”

First, be a friend to yourself. 

Love and be comfortable with yourself, the person that you’re with all the time. 

If you don’t feel good about yourself, nobody else will.

If you can look after yourself, you are in a better position to look after others. 

A positive attitude and emotional stability will help you win more friends. 

On the other hand, if you are emotionally unstable, you will repel them from you.

When you work on bringing out the best from yourself, you can also bring out the best in them.

By exemplifying the positive values of being a good friend, you will attract many people to yourself.

More importantly, you will attract those who share the same values as you.

Therefore, contribute positively to your friends and take action to be a positive influence in their lives.

Endeavour to be the friend that you want to have, and be the friend that others are looking for.

This will put you on track to building positive relationships.

2. Enroll

Decide what kind of friends you want to surround yourself with and select them wisely. 

Choose people who are committed to developing positive relationships and who aim to achieve win-win results.

To be realistic, not everybody will reciprocate positively when you extend your hands of friendship to them.

Focus on the people who respond well to you and then work towards building a rapport with the rest.

If you choose the right friends, you will be on the way to building the right friendships. 

However, if you engage the wrong persons, you will have an uphill climb in building positive relationships.

3. Empower

Like plants, relationships have to be properly sowed, nourished and nurtured. 

Plan for your friendships.

Invest the right resources, and take the necessary action to build positive relationships. 

The best way to build friendships is to live by the Golden Rule:

“Do to others what you want others to do to you. Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.”

If you want to be loved, you must extend love to your friends. 

In the same way, you must also make them feel important, valued and respected. 

When that happens, the momentum for building positive relationships will be increased.

4. Enable

Friends must make time for each other otherwise it is hard to get to know them and strengthen the bonds with them.

When you are with a friend, be mindful to offer them your complete presence. 

Strive to give them your full attention – your body, mind and spirit will have to be there for them.

Continue to develop the depth of your communication with them. 

From mouth-to-mouth level (small talks), to head-to-head level (communication about issues in life), and finally to heart-to-heart level (sharing of personal secrets), take the friendship over time to a deeper level.

Be sensitive to people’s thoughts and feelings and make them feel comfortable and secure. 

After you have successfully connected with them, you are in a better position to collaborate with and even correct them.

Deepen your relationship by continuing to open up to your friends and taking them into your confidence.

Extend your trust and build relationships based on trust. 

Without trust, it is hard to have positive relationships.

5. Encourage

Friendship is somewhat like a mirror.

When you like your friends, they will be more inclined to like you too.

They will rise up to the level of your belief in their potential and performance. 

Speak words of life when you are with your friends.

Make them feel that you are behind them, and encouraging and supporting them on their way to success.

Look out for the good in your friends and focus on their strengths.

When you help them improve and leverage on these traits, you are on the way to building a fruitful relationship.

Expect the best from your friends and encourage them when they do something right. 

In doing so, they will feel good about themselves and become more motivated to achieve better results in life.

Recognise their good deeds privately and publicly and take every opportunity to shower them with your affirmation and appreciation.

Compliment them sincerely, constantly and generously and inspire them on their pathways to greatness.

Be active in responding to good news from your friends as it is important to celebrate their achievements and successes in life.

6. Enhance

In the process of building a relationship, controversies, conflicts and contentions may arise. 

You may even have to go through crises and challenges together.

In such times, it is important for you to be humble and be willing to talk over the concerns. 

If need be, you may have to bring in a credible third party to mediate and help you patch up the relationship.

Be mindful that as a human, you’ll commit errors and have failures in your life. 

Bury your ego and be willing to say, “I’m sorry.” 

Without a forgiving spirit, your friendship cannot be strong and it will not grow.

7. Enrich

The best life is a life that is lived for others. 

The more you reach out to bless other lives, the richer and better your life will become.

This is the foundation to build a lasting relationship.

Continue to improve on your friendship quotient – your ability to value add to your relationships.

Invest time, energy and money to learn, improve, and become a better friend.

To improve your friendship quotient, find out your friends’ goals and aspirations and position yourself to be their cheerleader.

Play an active part in helping them fulfil their visions in life.

As you journey with them, be sensitive and responsive to their needs.

It can be offering them a listening ear, a simple word of encouragement, a helping hand, or other acts of kindness to help them resolve challenges and live a better life.

As they say, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

For your friendship to be strong, you need to stand by and support each other through times of difficulties.

Your friends must know that they can count on you during both good and bad times.

The more values you add to friends, the greater will be your sense of purpose and meaning in life.

It will also help you face challenges because you too will need friends to give you a helping hand when you’re down and out.

8. Endear

When you think of all your endearing relationships, it probably came about because of the special experiences and the beautiful memories you shared with them. 

It includes sharing each other’s secrets, crying for each other, and spending wonderful moments together.

Although many of these experiences resulted from unplanned circumstances, that does not mean that you cannot create special moments.

I hope you will never be too busy to create such happy memories for your friends. 

To do so, you need to stretch your creative juices to come out with heartfelt initiatives and pleasant surprises.

In summary, it is worth every effort to build positive relationships. 

Without them, life will not be as meaningful, exciting and fulfilling.

Go4It!

I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg

Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net 

Follow me on:

https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5

Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/

For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/

Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg

https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77

– via @patrickliew77

My LinkedIn

http://www.linkedin.com/in/liewpatrick

My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!

A Revolution Of Love (Part 4) – Loving Your Friends

On 17 March 1990, my Papa passed away suddenly. He had a heart attack after an enjoyable holiday.

He collapsed while queuing up to stamp his passport at the Singapore Customs. At that point, our family was in shock and deeply saddened.It took us a long time to recover from the grief.

Looking back, I feel it was a beautiful way to go.

There was no prolonged illness, no medical bills, and no major financial burdens to his loved ones or anyone.

Papa left us with a smile on his face and an uplifted spirit from the vacation.

We placed a small advertisement in the obituary column – a routine act by almost every bereaved family.

It was hard to believe the response we got at the funeral wake. The HDB void deck was literally packed with people.

Many rushed to the funeral to see Papa for the last time.

Some had tears in their eyes and came with a message from their hearts.

There was a man with a swarthy face, probably in the 60s, who came very close to me. He held my hands and with glistening eyes, he shared these moving words with me; “I’m a retired policeman. I’ve met your dad for only a short period of time. “Somehow, he made a strong impression on me and brightened up my life.

“When I saw his photo in the newspaper, I told myself I have to come and see him off.” 

There were many others who shared with me how they treasured Papa’s friendship and valued the time they spent with him. They came from many corners of the country and different walks of life. My Papa’s funeral awakened me to an important value.

One good way to measure success is the number of friends who will show up at my funeral – people who will be thankful for my life and who will miss me when I am gone.

I do not want to go through what Thomas Hardy called the ‘second death’ in his poem, ‘The To-Be-Forgotten.’

‘They bide as quite forgot;

They are as men who have existed not; Theirs is a loss past loss of fitful breath; It is the second death.’

I thought to myself, “It is tragic if I die, no one will remember me or worst, no one wants to remember me.”

Think about it.

You can take nothing away with you at the end of my life. However, you can leave behind something of value.

The highest value you can leave behind will be your love for people and your contributions to them and the environment they lived in.

If you live for this noble aspiration, you would have lived a good life.

As a real estate investor, I have always said that it’s more important to invest in “real relationship” estate. I teach my students that they are not just in the property investment business but also in the people business.

Their focus should not just be about developing real estate but about developing relationships too. Ultimately, they should aim to turn their clients into “freehold” friends – friends forever. Therefore, seek to love and value-add to your friends throughout your lifetime.

As I look back on my life, if there is anything I can be proud of and happy about – it’s the fact that I have many friends.

They come from different walks of life and from many different parts of the world. Many of my customers have also become my close friends.

From the young to the old, poor to the rich, not-educated to the educated… I can call on them.

We make time for each other and help each other on the journey of life.

Friendships do not come by accident, and they need to be planned and nurtured over time.

There are essentially 7 key strategies to bond with people and build a positive relationship with them.

1. Exemplify

To love others, it starts with your mind.

The seeds of love that you sow in your mind will help you reap the fruits of love in your life.

The external acts of love is a reflection of the love in your inner being.

Therefore, before you start to look for friends, ask yourself, “How can I be the best of friends to attract them?”

First, be a friend to yourself.

Love and be comfortable with yourself, the person that you’re with all the time. If you don’t feel good about yourself, nobody else will.

If you can look after yourself, you are in a better position to look after others.

A positive attitude and emotional stability will help you win more friends.

On the other hand, if you are emotionally unstable, you will repel them from you.

When you work on bringing out the best from yourself, you can also bring out the best in them.

By exemplifying the positive values of being a good friend, you will attract many people to yourself.

More importantly, you will attract those who share the same values as you.

Therefore, contribute positively to your friends and take action to be a positive influence in their lives.

Endeavour to be the friend that you want to have, and be the friend that others are looking for.

This will put you on track to building positive relationships.

2. Enroll

Decide what kind of friends you want to surround yourself with and select them wisely. Choose people who are committed to developing positive relationships and who aim to achieve win-win results.

To be realistic, not everybody will reciprocate positively when you extend your hands of friendship to them.

Focus on the people who respond well to you and then work towards building a rapport with the rest.

If you choose the right friends, you will be on the way to building the right friendships. However, if you engage the wrong persons, you will have an uphill climb in building positive relationships.

3. Empower

Like plants, relationships have to be properly sowed, nourished and nurtured. Plan for your friendships.

Invest the right resources, and take the necessary action to build positive relationships. 

The best way to build friendships is to live by the Golden Rule:

“Do to others what you want others to do to you. Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.”

If you want to be loved, you must extend love to your friends. In the same way, you must also make them feel important, valued and respected. When that happens, the momentum for building positive relationships will be increased.

4. Enable

Friends must make time for each other otherwise it is hard to get to know them and strengthen the bonds with them.

When you are with a friend, be mindful to offer them your complete presence.

Strive to give them your full attention – your body, mind and spirit will have to be there for them.

Continue to develop the depth of your communication with them.

From mouth-to-mouth level (small talks), to head-to-head level (communication about issues in life), and finally to heart-to-heart level (sharing of personal secrets), take the friendship over time to a deeper level.

Be sensitive to people’s thoughts and feelings and make them feel comfortable and secure.

After you have successfully connected with them, you are in a better position to collaborate with and even correct them.

Deepen your relationship by continuing to open up to your friends and taking them into your confidence.

Extend your trust and build relationships based on trust. Without trust, it is hard to have positive relationships.

5. Encourage

Friendship is somewhat like a mirror.

When you like your friends, they will be more inclined to like you too.

They will rise up to the level of your belief in their potential and performance. Speak words of life when you are with your friends.

Make them feel that you are behind them, and encouraging and supporting them on their way to success.

Look out for the good in your friends and focus on their strengths.

When you help them improve and leverage on these traits, you are on the way to building a fruitful relationship.

Expect the best from your friends and encourage them when they do something right. In doing so, they will feel good about themselves and become more motivated to achieve better results in life.

Recognise their good deeds privately and publicly and take every opportunity to shower them with your affirmation and appreciation.

Compliment them sincerely, constantly and generously and inspire them on their pathways to greatness.

Be active in responding to good news from your friends as it is important to celebrate their achievements and successes in life.

6. Enhance

In the process of building a relationship, controversies, conflicts and contentions may arise.

You may even have to go through crises and challenges together.

In such times, it is important for you to be humble and be willing to talk over the concerns.

If need be, you may have to bring in a credible third party to mediate and help you patch up the relationship.

Be mindful that as a human, you’ll commit errors and have failures in your life. Bury your ego and be willing to say, “I’m sorry.”

Without a forgiving spirit, your friendship cannot be strong and it will not grow.

7. Enrich

The best life is a life that is lived for others.

The more you reach out to bless other lives, the richer and better your life will become. This is the foundation to build a lasting relationship.

Continue to improve on your friendship quotient – your ability to value add to your relationships.

Invest time, energy and money to learn, improve, and become a better friend.

To improve your friendship quotient, find out your friends’ goals and aspirations and position yourself to be their cheerleader. Play an active part in helping them fulfil their visions in life.

As you journey with them, be sensitive and responsive to their needs. It can be offering them a listening ear, a simple word of encouragement, a helping hand, or other acts of kindness to help them resolve challenges and live a better life. As they say, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

For your friendship to be strong, you need to stand by and support each other through times of difficulties.

Your friends must know that they can count on you during both good and bad times. The more values you add to friends, the greater will be your sense of purpose and meaning in life.

It will also help you face challenges because you too will need friends to give you a helping hand when you’re down and out.

8. Endear

When you think of all your endearing relationships, it probably came about because of the special experiences and the beautiful memories you shared with them.

It includes sharing each other’s secrets, crying for each other, and spending wonderful moments together.

Although many of these experiences resulted from unplanned circumstances, that does not mean that you cannot create special moments.

I hope you will never be too busy to create such happy memories for your friends. To do so, you need to stretch your creative juices to come out with heartfelt initiatives and pleasant surprises.

In summary, it is worth every effort to build positive relationships. Without them, life will not be as meaningful, exciting and fulfilling.

Go4It!
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg
Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net
Follow me on:
https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5
Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/
For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/
Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg
https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77
– via @patrickliew77
My LinkedIn
http://www.linkedin.com/in/liewpatrick
My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.
Life is FUNtastic!

A Revolution Of Love (Part 3) – Loving Yourself

I have a mental disorder.

Before you call the Institute of Mental Health to put me in a strait jacket, please let me explain myself.

I was born and grew up with a psychiatric disorder, what psychiatrists termed as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD for short. They may not know it but it can be a genetical blessing.

I will not go into details about this disorder. Suffice to say, the symptoms of having ADHD include the inclination to:

· Daydream,
· Be distracted,
· Switch from one thing to another,
· Have difficulty in focusing, and
· Be bored easily.

As a result of ADHD, I have many challenges in my life. It takes a lot for me to be like what you would call a “normal” person and to succeed in life.

For example, I used to daydream in class and found it very hard to pay attention to the lessons. As a result, I would be totally lost until I learned to study on my own so as to pass the examinations.

When I talk to another person, I have to work much harder than most people to focus my attention on him. I can get distracted easily and therefore, it’s more difficult for me to build a closer relationship.

Let me share with you a typical challenge of having ADHD.

Many years back, there was a colleague who resigned from the company. During the exit interview, she complained, “Patrick walked right through me. I called him but he did not even acknowledge me. He doesn’t care about me.” This colleague left to join a competitor.

When I was growing up, my parents, teachers, and friends did not realize what I was going through. Even if they did, they would probably not know anything about ADHD or know how to help me cope with it.
I personally didn’t even know what was holding me back in life.

Later in my life, I was so grateful and thankful for my ADHD. It has helped me to be a better person. Instead of allowing it to strangle me, I have leveraged on it to strengthen my chances for success.

How did I work with our Creator to transform a pitfall into a platform for success? First, I acknowledge that I have ADHD. I may have to live with it for the rest of my life. I will never deny it and will take full responsibility for it.

For example, I learned that unhealthy food can worsen the problem. As a result, I endeavor to eat appropriately and have a healthier lifestyle.

Secondly, I have disciplined myself to learn about ADHD and manage it to my advantage. In the process, I learned that there is always a way to cope with any challenge in life. In my case, I have developed appropriate attitude, knowledge, skills, and habits to confront and overcome symptoms of ADHD.

I have learned many ways to manage the stresses and strains caused by these symptoms. I have improved my emotional muscles and enhanced my overall well being to cope better with the emotional challenges.
All these initiatives have improved my productivity at work and in life.

Thirdly, I have turned the challenge of having ADHD into an opportunity to achieve better outcomes. It has become a platform and not a pitfall to achieve success.

I have developed systems, processes and procedures to overcome downsides of having ADHD.

As a result, I have actually done well in my formal education. I have also applied the same problem-solving skills and techniques to improve my relationships and my businesses.

Guess what?

I am teaching some of these techniques to help even business and community leaders to achieve better results. Imagine an ADHD patient teaching people how to focus, listen to people, and persevere to complete a task?

It will sound like a bad joke to fellow “ADHD”ers.

Through it all, ADHD has become a stepping stone to success and not a millstone around my neck. It has softened me, strengthened me, and enlightened me.

It has softened me in the sense that it has humbled me and made me more of a human. I can better understand and feel for people who are facing challenges in their lives.

It made me a more empathetic and approachable person.

To cope with ADHD, I had to put in more efforts to strengthen basic life skills.
I have to improve my attitude, discipline, knowledge, skills, and lifestyle – all of which have made me a better person. In the process of resolving downsides of ADHD, I have learned how to persist and persevere so as to achieve desired results.

I became stronger and more resilient in facing other challenges in life.

ADHD has enlightened me to realise that there are many “Patrick Liew”s out there who are facing different kinds of challenges.

I want to inspire them with how I turn a psychiatric disorder into an advantage of a higher order. Serve them so that they will not be left behind on the highways and byways of life. Instead, they will become leaders for the good of society.

I am grateful and thankful to our Creator for the gift of such a mental disorder. However, that’s not how I have always felt.

Truth be told, there were depressing moments in time past when I wished that I didn’t have this challenge. There were times when I wished that I can be somebody else.

As a result of studying life, I have learned to love and appreciate myself. By learning to overcome unique challenges and cope with what cannot be changed in my life, it has helped me to understand and be thankful for myself.

Think about it.

There is nobody in the world that can be a better you than you. Nobody can love you more than you can love yourself. Nobody can make you feel less than what you’re worth without your approval.

You and you alone hold the master key to the gates of your heart and only you can allow others to strengthen or weaken it. It does not make sense to be someone else other than yourself. There is every reason to treat yourself well and with respect, affection, and care and concern.

You deserve the highest level of self-love.

Therefore, accept yourself for who you are and in whatever situation you’re in.

Learn how to befriend yourself unconditionally.

Enjoy your own companionship and be comfortable with your own being, the only home that you will ever have throughout your life.

Appreciate yourself and catch yourself doing good. Pat yourself constantly on the back and celebrate the wonder and beauty of life.

Love both the good as well as what can be improved in your life.

Learn how to love yourself despite all your fears, frailties and failures. It includes loving the past and even the darkest moments in your life.

The more you love your past, the more you can enjoy the present. And the more you love the present, the more you can build on the present for a brighter future.

When you can even love your shortcoming, it will have no power over you, and it can never haunt you for a single moment.
You will be in a better position to love yourself and others too.

Engage yourself in positive self-talk and fan the flame of love as you continue the ongoing love affair with yourself.

Seek to be the best coach, counsellor and cheerleader to yourself. Do not doubt for a moment that you cannot love yourself.

All that you need to do is to remove the blockages that you have consciously or unconsciously set up to prevent yourself from being in love and from tapping on love.

Ultimately, self-love should draw you closer to our Creator and lead you to be a blessing to yourself and to others.

If you cannot love yourself, it’ll be hard for you to love others.

Loving yourself is one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself.

Without self-love, you can’t even start on the path of satisfaction, success and significance.

Self-love is the fuel for inspiration, action and contribution.

Go4It!


I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg
Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net
Follow me on:
https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5
Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/
For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/
Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg
https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77
– via @patrickliew77
My LinkedIn
http://www.linkedin.com/in/liewpatrick
My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.
Life is FUNtastic!

Negativity Wears Many Faces

It is a disease that can kill:
Not just the physical body,
Not just the soul and the will,
But societies entire.

It is the modern day curse –
Affecting all types of media.
Nothing can be worse
Than the future it brings.

It is a dark cloud descending,
Pervading mind and heart,
Over many areas looming,
A black, contagious shadow.

It is a tsunami of destruction,
Cascading and ravaging,
Bringing damage and depression;
A slippery slope to failure.

It is a parasite that slowly grows,
Taking root and gaining strength,
Feeding off its willing host.
Does it happen to be you?

It is a lens one sees through,
Turning everything dim, forlorn.
Look outside now, what see you?
Is it the candle or the dark?

Negativity is a road you take
It builds itself into habits
It will make you who you are;
Negativity is a choice you make,
Soaring eagle or wallowing hippo – Which of the two shall you be?

Go4It!

I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg
Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net
Follow me on:
https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5
Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/
For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/
Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg
https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77
– via @patrickliew77
My LinkedIn
http://www.linkedin.com/in/liewpatrick
My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.
Life is FUNtastic!

The Day I Failed Badly…

This is is a real story about how I once failed a major examination in school.

“I’ve got bad news for you.
“I hope you’ll take it well.”

That was what my brother told me on 3 May 1976.

He had placed an overseas call for the first time in his life and it was a very expensive call to him.

I was in Hong Kong then to serve as a short-term social worker.

My friends had helped to raise money by selling old newspapers to send me to undergo an internship in a charity organisation.

My brother went on to break one of the saddest news in my life, “Patrick, you failed your exams.

“You have a chance to either repeat your studies or leave the school.”

After hearing the news, I collapsed on my seat – totally dazed.

I was given a Hobson’s choice, one that I believed would lead me through a dark corridor of misery.

To repeat my studies is one of the most shameful failures in the Asian culture.

On the other hand, leaving school would mean that I might not be able to find a decent job or even a job at all.

My reaction at that point in time was to lay blame, give lots of excuses, and justify for my failure.

Among my close friends, we call such blames, excuses and justifications “stories.”

I have many “stories” about why I should not be responsible for my failure.

I supposed I could even prove it and out-argue anybody on why I don’t deserve to fail.

I might even be able to blame our Creator for the failure.

After all, that year, I was spending a lot of time helping a voluntary welfare organisation.

I was co-ordinating a full-time secretariat, and helping to manage a fully-equipped office.

Devoting my youth to running programmes for a good cause and helping students in more than 17 schools.

My dream was to help them become better leaders and live a more abundant life.

How could our Creator allow me to fail?

Why did He not wrought a miracle – maybe cover the examiners’ eyes – and helped me pass the exams and pass with flying colour?

I could also blame my teachers.

Some of them were incompetent and could not communicate the subject materials properly.

My classmates did not help me.

In fact, one of my classmates who happened to be my neighbour told me, “Out of ten questions that you asked me, I can only share with you the answers to seven of them.

“That way, I will always be smarter than you.”

You could imagine I went through a period of intense anguish and anxiety.

I could not think my way out of the “I am a victim” box.

Meanwhile, many questions crossed my mind.

What would people think of me as a failure?

Would this “branding” condemn me to a life of shame and remorse, and lead me to more failures?

Would my current and new friends play with me and be my friend?

Even if I repeat, would I fail again and waste more time and maybe, be condemned for life?

Despite all these questions, I decided to repeat my studies – but these questions continued to haunt me for a long time.
When the new term started, I joined the new class with fear and trepidation.

I sat at the back of the class, like an outcast in a lepers colony.

If my new classmates felt uneasy in my presence, they did not show it.

However, every slightest negative move made by them – real or unreal – was amplified many times in my mind.

Somehow, I felt they were giving me strange looks.

There was a lingering feeling they were sharing my darkest secrets behind my back.

While struggling through this emotional storm, I had to cope with my studies.

I had to anchor my sanity and live a normal life at the same time.

By the way, there is a fairy tale–ending to this story.

Please read till the end to find out about my life–changing experience.

The wake up call came when I realised I must take responsibility for my life. 

And it must be a committed, conscientious, and continuous sense of responsibility.

I realised I have to stop telling “stories.”

It will not lead me to change and to take any action to improve my life.

For me to change anything, I must first change myself.

If I could not manage my life, I could not manage anything that would lead me to success.

It was not the situation that limited me or held me back from success, it was me.

To resolve any challenge, it should start with…

…Me.

Our Creator had given you a precious gift in life – Choice.

You’re totally free to decide what you want to do with your life.

Free to change your thoughts, plans, behaviour and actions.

The destiny of your life can be changed at the point of decision to change your life.

As they say, “You’re the the result of yesterday’s decision.
“What you’ll be tomorrow depends on the choices you make today.”

You are the result of your choices and changes, and not the conditions and circumstances.

On reflection, whether I liked it or not, I’d exercise my freedom to choose the fate of my life.

That’s why I failed my exams.

The ultimate fault must lie with me.

I had to face the situation that I was in.

I could not pretend it did not exist or run away.

I needed to confront and resolve it.

The good news was, I might not be able to change the situation.

However, I could change my response to the situation.

Rise about the situation and determine its meaning and significance to my life.

Whatever happened in my life might not be the best.

However, I could make the best of whatever has happened.

In the same way, I might not be able to change my past.

However, the past did not have to shape or condemn my future.

I was free to decide what I wanted to do with my life.

I could not stop the experience but I could always draw valuable lessons from it to build a better future.

If I responded positively, I could get positive results.

I could learn from any setback, and improve myself and the situation.

Let me illustrate by sharing with you what happened to me when I repeated my studies and why it turned out to be one of the best things that happened in my life.

The failure forced me to think and to decide the outcomes of the failure.

Yes, I could continue to grumble, grouse, and gripe about why “Life is so unfair.”

It would only lead me down the slippery road of misery and depression.

On the other hand, I could go and grow through the challenge.

The failure did not have to be a millstone around my neck. It could be a cornerstone for my success.

From believing I was a victim, I could rise to become a victor.

As I reflected on my failure, it became a fantastic feedback and learning experience.

I realised I have not set my priorities correctly.

I have not lived a balanced life.

I have not been a disciplined and diligent person and therefore, I deserved to fail. 

If I had passed my exams, I would never have learned how to focus on the important things in life.

I had to ask for forgiveness from our Creator and my parents.

Forgive myself and the people who had contributed to my failure.

In addition, I had to change my lifestyle, the root cause of my failure if I wanted to change the results.

Traveling on the same road would only lead me to the same destination.

That failure softened me, strengthened me, and enlightened me.

It softened me in that it made me more humble and more of a human.

Helped me better understand and feel for another human when they go through problems in life.

It certainly made me a more empathetic and approachable person.

It also strengthened me after I decided to face the fears, anguish, sorrows, anxieties, embarrassments and all the cascading effects of the failure bravely and wisely. 

When I did that, I developed a more resilient character.

I learned how to persevere in pursuing the best things in life.

When I started to respond positively, it started to change me and the situation.

It made me a better person and helped me better focus on many positive values, including discipline, single-mindedness, results-orientation, tenacity, resilience, adaptability, agility, and constant improvement.

These values stayed with me long after I have forgotten many lessons I learned in the classroom.

They helped me achieve better results in life.

That’s why, every time I face a challenge, my first reaction is to say, “Jin Jia Ho!” (Very Good).

Then, I will look for the good in the challenge, take massive action, and turn the challenge into a platform for success.

That failure also enlightened me to be more conscious and sensitive to those who have failed, lived in fear, and who have fallen behind and in between the cracks of life.

It make be more resolute to help the “Patrick Liew”s out there who may be in distress and trouble.

That failure was one of the best gifts that the school has given to me.

In closing, I am happy to share with you that on Friday, 21 May 2010, 34 years after the failure, the principal and management staff at that point in time invited me to address the graduation class of students.

They published my achievements on their website and in other marketing collaterals.

They decided to put up one of the worst failures in the school as one of their model graduates.

At the graduation ceremony, I shared with students, parents, and staff about the failure and how it turned my life around.

That failure became one of the most beautiful experiences in my life.

So, yes, everything happens for a purpose.

If you search deep enough, you’ll find the purpose.

Go4It!
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg
Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net
Follow me on:
https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5
Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/
For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/
Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg
https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77
– via @patrickliew77
My LinkedIn
http://www.linkedin.com/in/liewpatrick
My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.
Life is FUNtastic!

A Revolution Of Love (Part 2) – Removing Blockages To Love

Have you been strongly condemned before?
More importantly, have you allowed negative words to take root in your heart and let it affect your self esteem and become an emotional burden in your life?

I’m sure you have.

Many people carry these condemnations – whether from external sources or within themselves – as baggages throughout their lives.

These emotional baggage weigh them down and prevent them from soaring in life.
I had such an experience and it could have stifled me.

Instead, it strengthened me and made me a more resilient person.
It happened in 1973.

One of my teachers, in a fit of anger, told a group of us in front of the class, “If you ever pass your exams, I will give up teaching!”

To be fair to her, I have got myself to blame. I must have upset her to make her lose her cool.
This incident occured during a Chemistry lesson.

I was not keen to find out information such as if you mixed sodium hydroxide, NaOH, with Copper Nitrate, Cu(No₃)₂, you will get Sodium Nitrate, NaNO₃, a colourless liquid and Copper Hydroxide, Cu(OH)₂, a blue precipitate.

I could not see how this can help me in the real world – neither did the teacher try to explain it to me.

In my ignorant mind, they were meaningless facts that have no relevance in my life.
Instead of paying attention in class, I was having a distilled-water (H₂O) battle with my friends.

We were trying to cleanse each other with pure water.
We were mixing unfamiliar liquid and powder with different materials to see if we can invent a life-changing chemical.

We love to see the colour change and strange-looking smoke coming out from the test tubes.

If my teacher did not stop me, who knows, we might have discovered the genome code or a cure for cancer.

On the other hand, we might have invented a permanent paint for graffiti purpose or help ‘Ah Longs’ (illegal loan-sharks) decorate doors and walls for their customers.

Jokes aside, I realised I was wrong.

I should have been more disciplined and paid more attention in class.

Many of the lessons might not have short term benefits but they can build up long term values to improve lives and the world.

It is unfortunate that some teachers have stopped many students on their learning track and pathway to growth.

They have unwittingly limited the possibilities in these young minds instead of catalyzing the genius within each of them.

I digressed.

When my teacher pronounced the judgement – or condemnation – on me, I should have been severely hurt.

I could have been scarred and quite possibly, compelled me to go into my shell.

Fortunately, as youths, we were having too much fun for the toxic words to sink into our hearts.

We did not take the words too seriously to allow it to affect us, neither did we take it too lightly not to learn from it.

In fact, my teacher’s words became a turning point in my life.

For that, I will always be grateful to her.

If you read on, you will find out why I will always be thankful to her.

When I reflected on this and other similar experiences, I realized I have been negatively affected by words in the past.

Allowed careless words to lower my self-belief and my worth as a child of our Creator.
It just does not make sense.

Think about it.
You are a special edition of one.

There can never be another you – a pirate copy or a perfect copy of you.
There is not a single person in the whole wide world like you.

Nobody shares the same space, time, energy and resources.
No one can think, speak and act like you.

The greatest scientist in the world cannot develop anything that is remotely similar to you.
The best computer cannot perform like your brain and your bodily systems.

The latest advancement in medical and life sciences cannot replicate the intricate workings in your body, mind and spirit.

The wisest persons cannot explain to you about yourself.
They cannot understand what made you the person that you are and the genius that dwells within your being.

You are a walking miracle.

You are one of the greatest blessings that has happened and will ever happen in your life.

You are created with almost unlimited potential and infinite amount of possibilities.

You are gifted with a unique personality, capacity and set of abilities.

You have a vast reservoir of energy that can be used to make a positive difference to the people and the environment around you.

No one throughout the passage of time have suffered the same pain or enjoyed the same pleasure as you.

Nobody has gone through many of your unique and precious experiences in life.

No one should stop you from living a life of love and loving the best of life.
Nothing should ever make you think otherwise and cause you to love less of yourself.
You and you alone have gone through unique moments, experiences and achievements.

These events can be turned into assets to value-add to your life.
They can be used to help make our world a better home.
You have everything it takes to turn that dream in your mind into a reality.

Like stars, you can bring light into many dark corners in life.
It starts with loving yourself.
Loving yourself is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself.

Making full use of life and living life at its best is the only logical way to love yourself.
Living out that self-love by loving others is your calling and destiny.
By loving others, you will love yourself even more.

Love will then continue to grow.

This virtuous cycle of love can help you further develop the greatest miracle in your life – you.
There is a special space under the sun for you.
Like stars, you can bring light into many dark corners in life.

Do so much more for the people and the world around you.
I believe there is no better time to be alive than right here, right now.
You can enjoy luxuries that many kings and tycoons in the past could never imagine, let alone enjoy.

With your finger tips, you can access more information than many of the wisest humans that came before you.
Leverage on more sophisticated resources than some of the greatest leaders that have ever walked on planet Earth.

There is no better time in history to do whatever you want to do, enjoy whatever you want to enjoy, and achieve whatever you want to achieve.
You can create a world that has never existed before.

A world that you have been longing for and one that will pave the way for a brighter future.
You have everything it takes to turn that new world in your mind into a reality.
Whether you soar or sink in life, it depends on one of the most powerful gifts that our Creator has given to you – the gift of choice.

Whatever happened in your life might not be the best.
However, you can choose to make the best of whatever has happened.
You may not be able to change the situation.

However, you can change your response to it.
Rise about the situation and determine its purpose, meaning and significance in your life.
In the same way, you may not be able to change your past.

However, you have a choice not to allow the past to shape or condemn your life.
You may not be able to change past experience but you can always draw valuable lessons from it to build a brighter future.
You are free to decide what you want to do with the life ahead of you.

The choice is entirely up to you.

Back to my story, the words from my teacher woke me up.
I chose not to treat my teacher’s words as a pitfall but as a platform to transform my life.
I decided to study hard and pass the final examinations.

In case you need to know, I had reasonably good grades.
Looking back, many of the most challenging experiences in my life have become major sources of learning for me.
They have helped me to “pass” many “examinations” in life.

Loving yourself is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself.

Go4It!
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg
Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net
Follow me on:
https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5
Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/
For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/
Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg
https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77
– via @patrickliew77
My LinkedIn
http://www.linkedin.com/in/liewpatrick
My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.
Life is FUNtastic!

The Hero In You

The hero stands tall, eyes transfixed on the stars,
Ready to navigate the way to his vision.

In face of storm and flood, he will walk the high road.
He will suffer bitter cold or heat, he will press on
Ahead of the field, dream chaser, world changer.

He shows the way.

The hero strides forth, pressing toward his cause,
Though the journey be through unchartered paths.

No guarantees are offered and none is assumed,
Grit and perseverance are his only companions.
While the unbelieving world looks on,
He travels alone.

The hero falls down, for it couldn’t be helped.
His enemies have lain waiting for such a chance
To trap him and stop him from reaching his goal.

He may be knocked down but never knocked out –
Courageous and true, he gets back on his feet.
He breaks through.

The hero walks on, keeping purpose in sight.
He defies mediocrity and its alluring call,
Ignoring the rabble, the detractors, the norms.

While others are thinking about what’s next,
He plans for what’s coming after what’s next.
He surges ahead.

The hero may tire, for the road is relentless.
His body is stretched, his mind is harassed,
But his spirit is steadfast, determined, undiminished.

He wills himself to see the land of his dream,
Feel its beat, taste its fruit, grasp its newness.
He braces himself.

The hero is ready, success calls him forth,
His passionate focus on victory propels him onward.

His aim in reach, it will soon give way to him.
It will happen: the world will have its share of his triumph!

The hero, my friend, is blessed and blessing.
The hero, my friend, is in you.

Go4It!
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg
Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net
Follow me on:
https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5
Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/
For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/
Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg
https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77
– via @patrickliew77
My LinkedIn
http://www.linkedin.com/in/liewpatrick
My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.
Life is FUNtastic!

An Important Key To Enjoying Life

One of the most vital things to do in life is to do nothing, otherwise known as rest.

Rest is by no means a sign of laziness. It is a key discipline for recharging yourself.

Learn how to rest well and renew yourself so as to raise yourself to a new level.

Taking a rest is tantamount to sharpening the axe. It is a process for revitalizing your body, soul and spirit.

When you are at rest, your body will take time to do its housekeeping. Clear the cobwebs from your mind.

The heart will use this period to clear itself of emotional toxins.

Your soul will find its centre and be better positioned to navigate through life.

Take a leaf from nature.

When an agricultural land is well rested, the soil will be enriched. It will be able to produce a better harvest of fruit.

Even God took a day off on the seventh day while creating the world.

He instituted rest and set an example by stopping work to appreciate His amazing handiwork.

Rest does not mean that you leave a vacuum in your mind.

I believe that negativity abhors a vacuum and negativity will soon find a way to fill your mind.

To be well rested is to relax your muscles and quieten your mind. Lift your spirit to enjoy the beauty around you.

Be in awe and grateful for the wonders of life.

Spend time to praise our Creator, and be thankful for all the goodness within and around us.

Having a restful moment can be as simple as savouring beauty of a flower or listening to a wonderful piece of music.

Finding a comfortable corner and reading a good book.

In the evening of my life, I also find joy in journaling my thoughts and experiences.

To work and to rest are two of the key preoccupations in life.

As you journey through life, learn to find rest in your work and work on finding rest even while you’re doing meaningful work.

As you savor the beauty and wonder, and goodness in your work, find rest in your work and make rest a part of your working life.

Work can become an ongoing process of comfort, peace and happiness.

So, rest and relax well, my friend.

Go4It!

I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg

Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net 

Follow me on:

Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/

For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/

Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg

https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77

– via @patrickliew77

My LinkedIn

My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!

Two heads are better than one.

Anonymous

Develop a buddy system to hold yourself responsible, accountable and effective in achieving the best results in life.

In essence, you form an agreement with another person to help each other achieve success in life.

You communicate with each other regularly through different modes of communication.

Buddies support each other in many different ways to ensure that both parties are moving in the right direction and to achieve the desired results.

Find a Success buddy today!

Go4It!

I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg

Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net 

Follow me on:

Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/

For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/

Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg

https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77

– via @patrickliew77

My LinkedIn

My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!

Sell To The Customer’s Mind

Remember, ‘Before the customer moves into the property physically, they must move in mentally first.’

In other words, if they cannot visualize living or working in the property, they will not buy it. When you conduct your viewing, help the customer to imagine – with all 5 senses – the benefits of the property as if they are already staying in it.

Think: How can I convince the customers mentally and emotionally?

Go4It!

I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg

Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net 

Follow me on:

https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5

Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/

For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/

Let’s connect on instagram.com/patrickliewsg – via @patrickliewsg

https: //twitter.com/patrickliew77

– via @patrickliew77

My LinkedIn

http://www.linkedin.com/in/liewpatrick

My Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Patrick-Liew-5?share=24abf3c1&srid=uL2Gz Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!