Fight On!

I want to share with you the longest walk in my life.

It was only a 100-metre walk but in my mind, it had seemed like I’ve walked for ages.

The walk was from a lecture theatre in a university to its student hostel.

Two ladies were walking in front of me and they were in deep discussion.

Every now and then, they would turn around and asked me some difficult questions.

I have never had to think so hard to respond to a question prior to that walk.

The reason is because the outcome of the ladies’ discussion could literally wipe out a good six months of my life.

More seriously, it would add stress and frustration on me and make life really tough.

At that point, I had embarked on completing a terminal degree, or what some would call, the pinnacle of a tertiary education.

It was a lifelong dream to stretch myself and put myself through one of the toughest rigors in the university.

This included conducting primary research and hopefully, contribute to the growing body of knowledge and improve society.

Since young, I have loved to learn but because I came from a very poor family, I had to support myself financially through a series of university programmes and do it on a part-time basis.

For years, I would spend three nights and sometimes, weekends, in classes and usually after a long tiring day or a week of work.

The rest of the free time would mainly be spent in the library, completing assignments, and studying for examinations.

Meanwhile, I had to juggle my passion for learning with growing responsibilities and duties at the workplace.

After completing a bachelor and two master’s degrees, I pursued other studies.

Eventually, I only attended short term seminars and courses.

All this while, I had never forgotten an item on my bucket list and that is to earn a doctorate degree.

As I grew older and immersed myself in other pursuits, it became harder and harder for me to make my educational dream come true.

There were lots of excuses that almost convinced me to put off my aspiration.

Subconsciously, there were also growing doubts about my determination, discipline and diligence.

One fateful day, I was given something which to this day, I couldn’t even remember what it was.

All I remember was the newspaper that was used to wrap that thing.

A relatively small advertisement on the paper caught my eyes and that advertisement never left my mind.

The advertisement seemed to pop out of the newspaper and it was screaming for my attention.

It was an advertisement for less than 20 students to pursue a doctoral degree at the University of Southern California (USC).

The course of study was designed for qualified senior executives from different parts of the world.

These students had to go through a series of stringent courseworks at three different campuses in Los Angeles, Doha and Hong Kong and finally, complete a dissertation.

I would have thrown the advertisement away if I had not told my family about it.

Since that day, they reminded me again and again and eventually, drove me nuts about fulfilling a lifelong dream.

At that point, it almost seemed like an impossible dream.

I could not even remember what I ate for lunch the day before, let alone memorize information from textbooks.

Finally, with strong support from my family, I applied and was accepted into the course of study.

At that point, little did I know that I had to invest my total being into one of the toughest challenges in my life’s journey.

Why was it tough?

First, I was one of the oldest students in the cohort and probably in the university.

I had no foundational knowledge about many of the subjects.

In fact, some of the subjects were initially way beyond my understanding and competence.

The focus of my research was in financial intelligence.

Few professors in the school were available to give me expert advice and guidance on the topic.

On top of that, I had started some new businesses and investment ventures.

These ventures took time and attention away from my studies.

I was also busy trying to manage many private affairs.

At the same time, I had to run many other initiatives, including a relatively long list of professional, civic, charity, grassroots, philanthropic and humanitarian initiatives.

In addition to these challenges, it didn’t help me to be constantly reminded that only 1% of students in tertiary level institutions has completed a doctoral degree.

Many doctoral candidates have started on the arduous journey but did not make it to the finishing line.

In the process of doing the course, some of the students from my cohort and other cohorts decided to drop out of the course.

As they were bright students, their withdrawals made me question my own commitment, ability and perseverance.

Some of my friends asked me, “At this stage in your life, does it matter if you have a doctorate degree?

“How does it help you in your business?

“Shouldn’t you focus on more important values and pursuits in life?”

To put it mildly, I was not only struggling in so many different ways throughout my course, I was also well-intendedly discouraged by many people on many occasions.

There were moments when I felt like crying – especially when I was studying alone and in the middle of the night.

Then, I went through one of the biggest shocks and failures in my learning journey.

That was how the story of the walk came into the picture.

The walk was one of the most poignant moments of my doctoral journey.

Prior to the walk, I had already submitted and defended the proposal for my dissertation.

In addition, I had done a fair amount of research and crafted the first three chapters of my dissertation.

By then, I felt like I have climbed a large part of a dark, steep and challenging virgin mountain.

Any student who has gone through the same rocky path would sympathise with me and tell you that it was a highly difficult part of an arduous journey.

Shortly after, I was discussing my dissertation with the Professor who taught me quantitative and qualitative research.

Imagine the shock when she told me that all the while, I had been doing my dissertation wrong!

I had to give up all that I’ve done and start all over again.

Her words made me feel weak and soft all over and dragged me down an emotional abyss.

That was when I got the supervisor of my dissertation to talk to her.

Actually, it was more like arguing with her for my sake.

From a short distance away, I could see the two highly-regarded professors debating my dissertation.

I could not hear the words but I could feel the verbal cut and thrust.

Finally, they both turned to me and said the words that I had been dreading to hear, “Patrick, sorry.

“Your dissertation is wrongly crafted. You have to start all over again.”

I felt like the road beneath me had opened up, plunging me into depths of emotional darkness.

That evening, no matter how I looked at my disqualified dissertation, I couldn’t think of how I could pick up the pieces and start the journey all over again.

I almost put up my hands and surrendered to the bitter winds of disappointment and rejection.

Thankfully, after walking around town like a zombie for a few days, I found the courage and strength to restart the project again.

In the words of the battle cry of the USC, I had to “Fight On!”

After that failure, I went on to battle many other challenges and overcome other failures.

I came very close at different points to mental and emotional exhaustion and collapse.

Thanks to encouragement and support from many people around me, I dug into the reservoir of stamina and pressed on until I completed the race.
I was filled with joy when I received my doctorate degree from the USC on 19 July 2014.

Just as importantly, I’m overjoyed for scoring straight As for my coursework and I am really proud of my final dissertation.

It was also a great honour to be nominated to deliver the student speech at the graduation dinner on 17 July 2015 at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in Los Angeles.

Looking back on the doctoral journey, I learned and am still learning about one of the most critical factors for achieving sustainable success.

That critical success factor is tenacity.

To be continued…

Go4It!
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
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