There Is A Monster Within You…

“Patrick, if you do it, I will leave the room. I will resign from the company.”

These were the straight-in-the-face and angry words from one of my former partners in China.

Just before that, I had told him what I planned to do at a leadership bootcamp.

It was the last day of the course. There was enough time for just one more exercise.

Everybody was in a euphoric mood because of the many life-changing breakthroughs.

We needed a powerful climax to complete the learning journey.

I had an idea.

My plan must have clearly shocked him. He was all set to stage a walk-out and probably even organise a protest against me with the other colleagues.

What I am about to share with you is one of the high points of my research in the art and science of leadership.

As a keen observer of great leaders in action and having documented some of the best practices, I needed a divine revelation.

While I have helped to train and coach many leaders, somehow I felt there was something amiss.

There was an X factor that was needed to be on the list of leadership qualities or for that matter, deleted from it.

I believe that leadership has to start from the heart.

The heart of leadership problems is a problem of the heart.

If a leader does not have a heart to love and serve his people, he does not qualify and deserve to be a leader.

All well and good but if it is so simple, why are there not more leaders putting their hearts into the lives of their people?

What is stopping leaders from investing their hearts into their teams’ vision and action plan?

As I dived deeper into the workings of the leader’s heart, I made a scary discovery. A dark and horrifying one.

There is a monster living in each and every one of us.

It is our biggest enemy – the ego.

Left unrestrained, it can cause relationships to break down. It can affect your performance and results, and eventually destroy your life.

The ego is an over-consciousness of your being and is an unhealthy attachment. It has a tendency to make you feel bigger and better than the others.

In reality, it is a cover up of your fears, inadequacies and insecurities. That’s why, it tends to be critical and judgmental and is inclined to make others inferior to yourself.

The ego seeks to own and dominate others. It wants to control every situation and outcome.

While manifesting pride and arrogance on the surface, deep within, the ego desires to be accepted and approved.

Paradoxically, it tends to hurt others while getting hurt easily.

The ego is not your true self. It lives in a false reality and views the world from an ethnocentric perspective.

It is self-conscious and self-centered. At every given opportunity, it is self-glorifying and seek it’s self-interest.

By doing that, the ego blinds you to your weaknesses. It makes you live in a world of your own make-beliefs.

Unfortunately, if the ego makes you so full of yourself, you are actually shortchanging yourself. You become smaller than what you really are, living in a world that has been shrunk by your self-absorbed mind.

It shuts you from the truths and prevents you from seeking the correct path to a better future. It competes with your heart that wants to serve a higher calling and fulfil a worthwhile cause.

The ego needs to be fed but it will never be satisfied. In fact, if not properly managed, the ego will become hungrier and it will grow until it becomes bigger than you.

Gradually, it will devour you.

The conflicting truth about the ego is that you cannot control it without being controlled by it. You cannot manage it unless you replace it with a far more compelling driver and purpose.

You need to harness and channel the good in you and drive it in the right direction and towards the right aspiration.

Along the way, you need to continue to discipline yourself from feeding the ego. You must prevent it from rearing its ugly head even for the slightest moment.

You need to consciously detach yourself from the ego.

In fact, you should run away from whatever will lead you to self-indulgence, over-confidence and vainglory. They are distant cousins of the ego.

The best way to subdue the ego is to submit it to the leading of our Creator.

If our Creator has no part in your life, the ego will take over the divine throne and the centre of gravity in your life.

Obviously, if you tap on human intelligence, you can only achieve what a human can do. However, when you tap on Infinite Wisdom, you open yourself to unlimited possibilities and achievements.

When you allow the Higher Self to lovingly guide you, you will learn to be mindful of fulfilling a high purpose and a worthy cause.

Over time, He will replace and control the ego with a set of positive missions and values.

You will learn to love and be sensitive to others and serve them. At the end of the day, you will learn to achieve and sustain a win-win relationship and outcome.

You move from being me-centric to being others-centric and from focusing on your self interests to the other party’s interests.

You work towards achieving a greater good for humanity than for your own self good.

On the journey of life, a winner wears humility on both his heart and his dispositions. He is not defined by accolades, acquisitions and achievements. He is defined by something bigger as a child of God.

He recognises that if he over-dwells on the challenges internally, he will not be able to manage the challenges externally. If he overly-focuses on what’s inside him, he will not be able to capitalise on the opportunities outside.

While he loves himself, he will never allow his self-love to hold him back from loving others. He accepts his weaknesses but that will not stop him from helping others to achieve greater successes than his own.

It bodes well to remember that the ego trip is a trip to destruction. You need to take the high and selfless road to success.

As I meditated over these principles during the bootcamp, I wonder how these principles can be taught to others. I came to a conclusion that they could not be taught – but caught.

That’s when I decided to reenact a ritual from the Lord Jesus Christ. I decided to wash the feet of the leaders and the participants at the end of the bootcamp.

It was one of the most powerful experiences on my learning journey. All over the room, many participants were in tears.

Many, including my partner discovered what we have lost along the way in life. We returned back to what we were designed for – to put others before self and to love and serve others.

The experience was another turning point in my life. Thank you one and all for helping me to learn and relearn another powerful lesson in life.

Go4It!

I hope this message will find a place in your heart.

By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.

Please ‘Like’ me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg

For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/

Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net

Please read my reflections and continue to teach me.

Life is FUNtastic!

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About Patrick Liew
About Patrick Liew Patrick Liew MBA, MSc, BSc is the Managing Partner of Global Enterprise Exchange Pte. Ltd.. He is also the founder and director of Success Resources, arguably the world’s largest personal development seminar organiser and a major shareholder of a company, which is listed on the Australian Stock Exchange. He was previously the Executive Chairman and CEO of HSR Global Ltd., a publicly listed company on SGX-ST. Previously, he was the regional director of the Gartner Group, providing strategic advisory and planning services to governments, banks and MNCs. He was also the regional head of sales and marketing operation for Dow Jones Telerate. Patrick graduated with a BSc in Estate Management from Heriot Watt University, an MSc with emphasis in global business and marketing from The City University Of New York, and an MBA from Henley Business School / Brunel University. He has also earned more than nine other professional qualifications. Patrick is arguably the first person to develop a multimedia e-learning programme on entrepreneurship. He authored a Chinese book on business systems and was also the co-author of a Times Bookshop best-selling book. Patrick has conducted both ‘brick and mortar’ and online lessons for participants from more than 60 countries. He has also conducted keynote presentations in many international conferences, including being the first Singaporean to teach at the National Association of Realtors. Through his team at Success Resources, Patrick has organised educational conferences for prominent leaders such as President Bill Clinton, Prime Minister Tony Blair, Michael Porter, Richard Branson, Robert Kiyosaki, Donald Trump, and many other prominent leaders. Patrick provides leadership and advisory services to many professional and charity organisations. He is actively involved in supporting humanitarian, philanthropic and charity causes. He has organised three fund-raising events and in the process, help to set three national records in the Singapore Books Of Records. Patrick won the Entrepreneur Of the Year Award For Social Contribution, the Asia Pacific Entrepreneurship Award, and six other business awards. Patrick believes the best way to live your life is to live your life for others. The more you reach out to bless other lives, the richer and better your life will become. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Personal Note to my Friends The articles that I post online; or what I term as Love Notes, are written with the purpose of inspiring readers to live at a higher plane in life. They are also meant to motivate those who are struggling in life and help them find handlers to overcome their conflicts and challenges. It is my ardent hope that we will form networks and alliances of like-minded people who will put to right many of the wrongs in our midst. Together, we will leverage on each other's resources and create a synergistic impact in making our world a better home. These articles are written as part of regular reflection about the vicissitudes of life. They are at best work in progress and at worst, grumblings, grouses, and gripings of a finite old man. I have deliberately decided NOT to delete many of the articles and pointers that I may not agree with or are outrightly wrong. This is to keep a record of how my personal ideas, beliefs, and values have evolved over time. In addition, I hope to encourage readers by letting them know that I also make mistakes and am struggling with many of the complexity and complication in life. As long as we hang on to hope and work on finding a solution, there will be light at the end of whatever tunnel we are in. I do not pretend to know everything or for that matter, anything of substance. In fact, the more I study, learn, and think about the vast wisdom and knowledge out there, the more I realised how little I know about life and the ways of life. Hence, I have always ended my article by asking readers to continue to teach me. For I, too, am a sojourner in the exploration of truth and the adventure of finding meaning, purpose, and significance for my existence. I am proud of and make no apology for being a Christian, albeit not the most exemplary one. I believe our Creator can lead and guide us to be the best that we can ever be. I bear full responsibility for the shortcoming and error in my life, including my words. The fault is entirely mine and not due to anyone else. Readers have and can exercise the power of choice. They can discard what will not work for them and adopt those that can propel them further and faster in the pursuit of better performance, outcomes, and fulfillment. If I have disappointed or hurt you in any way, form, or manner, I would like to apologise to you. Please do not hold them against me or whoever or whatever is related to me. There are much to pray about, learn, and do. And I'll work on them with a sense of urgency. I hold on to the belief that 'Anything worth doing is worth doing with passion and excellence'. I'll endeavour to live by it. Life is short. There's no dress rehearsal and neither can we turn back the clock to change the drama of life. Therefore, by the grace and power of our Creator, let's live a full life and live it to the fullest. May God bless you abundantly on the journey of life. Your online servant, Patrick Liew I hope this message will find a place in your heart. By the way, I have also recorded other reflections. Please 'Like' me on https://m.facebook.com/patrickliewsg Visit my Inspiration blog at https://liewinspiration.wordpress.com/ For my opinions on social affairs, please visit my Transformation blog at http://hsrpatrickliew.wordpress.com/ Please visit my website, http://www.patrickliew.net Please read my reflection and continue to teach me. Life is FUNtastic!

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